http://unlikelystories.org/blog/content/?p=133
The release date for the book has been pushed back a few weeks, but should be out shortly.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Amphisbaena
My second published novel, Amphisbaena, will be released on July 4th, 2009. That's Independance Day, here in the States. While it was written last Summer, I've been working on this book all year thus far, with numerous revisions and drafts, until complete. Amphisbaena will be released through Cauliay Publishing (who you might remember published my novel Tatterdemalion in June of 2008).
Here's the trailer:
From back cover:
"A sober disinterest in relationships causes Bill Sherman, failing calendarist, to abandon dating for many years. When pressured into a speed dating event by his brother, Bill meets Amy and decides to attempt a relationship again. He learns quickly, however, that Amy is two people: The inseparable Amy and Janine. These two women design to date Bill in tandem, both to his confusion and enjoyment. Where Amy holds Bill dear to her heart, Janine is unable to function outside of physical pleasure. Bill soon discovers that this strange predicament is only the beginning of a much larger system of rules and interraction, and the relationship changes more when Bill realizes that the two women happen each to be one half of an ancient, two-headed black snake. Amy is the alpha head and has subjugated her poison in an attempt to understand human notions of beauty. Bill is not allowed to touch her. Janine is the enticer head and may not be in league with Amy where Bill is concerned.
Can a man love if there is only appetite? Will he care more deeply for the woman he can never touch? What happens when monogamy becomes taboo and a fine-tuned machine of murder learns the human consequence of going against one's nature for a greater meaning?
Laden with whimsical depiction and a foraging exposition on gender, occupation, and dating in modern society, Amphisbaena is the story of three people trapped somewhere between nature and culture, through a humorous adventure into the biological mess of love and romance. "
So there you have it, a surreal and quite expository romance novel between a man and a two-headed snake. There's much more to it, of course. Here's a very low-resolution version of the front cover:
"A sober disinterest in relationships causes Bill Sherman, failing calendarist, to abandon dating for many years. When pressured into a speed dating event by his brother, Bill meets Amy and decides to attempt a relationship again. He learns quickly, however, that Amy is two people: The inseparable Amy and Janine. These two women design to date Bill in tandem, both to his confusion and enjoyment. Where Amy holds Bill dear to her heart, Janine is unable to function outside of physical pleasure. Bill soon discovers that this strange predicament is only the beginning of a much larger system of rules and interraction, and the relationship changes more when Bill realizes that the two women happen each to be one half of an ancient, two-headed black snake. Amy is the alpha head and has subjugated her poison in an attempt to understand human notions of beauty. Bill is not allowed to touch her. Janine is the enticer head and may not be in league with Amy where Bill is concerned.
Can a man love if there is only appetite? Will he care more deeply for the woman he can never touch? What happens when monogamy becomes taboo and a fine-tuned machine of murder learns the human consequence of going against one's nature for a greater meaning?
Laden with whimsical depiction and a foraging exposition on gender, occupation, and dating in modern society, Amphisbaena is the story of three people trapped somewhere between nature and culture, through a humorous adventure into the biological mess of love and romance. "
So there you have it, a surreal and quite expository romance novel between a man and a two-headed snake. There's much more to it, of course. Here's a very low-resolution version of the front cover:
As with Tatterdemalion, there is a comprehensive and detailed special features package I've put together for Amphisbaena. This is fully interactive and contains animation, dozens of audio tracks, introductions... even a few hidden features (if you can find them). The special features are part of the Amphisbaena 2009 Reviewer Edition (I'll place a link to this download below). The Reviewer Edition also contains the entire ebook version of Amphisbaena for free, to anyone who wants to read it.
Included in the Reviewer Edition:
About the Author section containing images, synopses, and full publication history with links.
An interactive video trailer for Tatterdemalion, with sample chapter and links to the free download.
A themed Concept Art feature.
An Alternate Cover Art feature, exhibiting the 12 alternate covers created for the book.
An audio introduction from the author.
An animated feature on speed-dating.
An animated feature telling the story of the Amphisbaena and its mother, Medusa, from Greek mythology.
Explanatory Notes about the some of the machinations used in the book, including the excerpt system that introduces each chapter.
Information about Cauliay, an in-depth link page, much in the way of video and audio, hidden features you can hunt for, ordering and contact information, and so much more. Seriously, I spent a busy year programming this.
The entire book, Amphisbaena, free of charge in an ebook format. You can view the book from directly within the special features program, or open it in any .pdf viewer. There are links for a download of my previous novel, as well, should you decide to take a look.
How I loathe sounding like a pitchman.Moving on, here's a link to the download (yes, it's somewhat large, but entirely free of cost and more than worth the wait): http://www.daedalao.com/downloads/Amphisbaena.zip
For those of you in the torrents, Amphisbaena and the Reviewer Edition can be found as a dedicated torrent here: http://www.mininova.org/tor/2629217
I'll post more information as the book nears print. I hope you enjoy the book. A lot of time and effort has gone into writing it.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
The Rat is Here
Announcing the release of The Rat, an executable, fully animated, interactive publication edited by Ray Succre, containing new poetry by Alan Morrison, Alissa Nielsen, Andrew David King, Christian Ward, Constance Stadler, Corey Mesler, David LaBounty, Dee Rimbaud, F.D. Marcel, Felino Soriano, Justin Hyde, L.Ward Abel, Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal, Matina Stamatakis, Matthew Zapruder with Matthew Rohrer and Joshua Beckman, Michael Lee Johnson, and Misti-Rainwater Lites, featuring an animated piece by Beau Blue, and original audio tracks by Kevin MacLeod.
Here's a link to the download:
http://www.fileden.com/files/2008/5/16/1915229/The%20Rat.exe
Going through The Rat is somewhat like taking a very visual tour through some truly good poetry. Go grab something to drink, start up the mag, and settle in. If anyone would like to give a shout-out for The Rat, by all means, go for it. Feel free to send the link to anyone and everyone you think will enjoy it. I spent a lot of time on it and the poetry in the issue is superb. Make sure your speakers are on, because this thing has audio tracks, videos, flash animation, tons of images, effects, and text animations. It's a bit of an experience, if you don't mind me using that tired term.
The Rat is a single issue, invitation-only magazine I put together as a sort of present to some of the poets I greatly admire. On another note, I tried everything I could think of (and then some) in trying to create a program that would also function on a MAC, but simply couldn't do it. Sorry MAC users. Grab a friend who owns a PC, head over to their place, and hang out drinking coffee and taking a look at The Rat on their machine. They'll love the company and it's a good way to spend the afternoon. Besides, PC owners miss you. Come visit.
If you have any questions, feel free to send me an email at raysuccre [at] hotmail.com. I check it pretty often and will get back to you shortly. Enjoy the mag.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
My Novel 'Amphisbaena' to Be Published
I've received some good news recently in that my second novel, Amphisbaena, has been picked up with Cauliay for print. I'm pleased as hell right now. The release date is yet to be decided, but if my first book, Tatterdemalion, is an indication of schedule, it's likely Amphisbaena will be released sometime around the middle of June. I'll be posting various details and information as we go along, and have begun the revision and drafting tasks which will absorb me for the next few months. My first novel, Tatterdemalion, received strong and very favorable reviews, so if you're on the market for a good read, give it a shot. If you enjoy it, you'll enjoy Amphisbaena.
I'm developing a special features promotion for the book, as I did with Tatterdemalion, and will release it in the next month or so. Details (and the download, itself) will be posted here. For those of you who missed the large project of Tatterdemalion special features I put together, or have an interest in that book, any reviews, or locations where it can easily be ordered, go here:
http://raysuccre2.blogspot.com/2008/06/tatterdemalion-news-and-update.html
As with my first novel, Amphisbaena will be a print book, but my publisher and I will be creating an ebook version available to all for free. If you want to read the book (or my last book) and don't have the extra cash around (and who does, these days?), you can read it free, so long as you don't mind doing through a screen, or hitting CTRL-P and printing it yourself. I'll post more on this as it's developed.
On to a very brief description:
I'm developing a special features promotion for the book, as I did with Tatterdemalion, and will release it in the next month or so. Details (and the download, itself) will be posted here. For those of you who missed the large project of Tatterdemalion special features I put together, or have an interest in that book, any reviews, or locations where it can easily be ordered, go here:
http://raysuccre2.blogspot.com/2008/06/tatterdemalion-news-and-update.html
As with my first novel, Amphisbaena will be a print book, but my publisher and I will be creating an ebook version available to all for free. If you want to read the book (or my last book) and don't have the extra cash around (and who does, these days?), you can read it free, so long as you don't mind doing through a screen, or hitting CTRL-P and printing it yourself. I'll post more on this as it's developed.
On to a very brief description:
Amphisbaena is the story of a thirty-something calendarist, Bill Sherman, who lives with his divorced brother, two odd nephews, and an uncommunicative niece. Bill has a serious disinterest in dating, having all but abandoned the notion, and his career in calendar design is waning hard as all the major calendar presses are trimming down their production. Through the convincing pressure of his brother, Roger, Bill agrees to attend a speed-dating event with him, and finds himself unexpectedly enthralled with a particular woman, Amy. The feeling is mutual, and things quickly escalate from interest into deep-seated care. Bill learns, however, that there is much more to Amy than he at first realized. Amy has the bizarre rule that she will not date Bill unless Bill dates her roomate, Janine, as well. He can have a relationship with both of them, or neither. He is reluctant but does agree, and soon discovers that this strange dating situation is only the beginning of a much larger system of rules and interraction. Stranger still is his discovery that Amy and Janine, while appearing to be roommates, are actually a single creature, each woman being one of the heads of an ancient, two-headed snake. Amy is the alpha head, the upper half, and has subjugated her poisons in an attempt to understand human notions of beauty. Bill is not allowed to touch her. Janine is the enticer head, the lower half, and may not be in league with Amy where their relationship with Bill is concerned. Janine seems only interested in sex.
Can a giant serpent designed for killing and eating men temper it's nature to keep and love one? When offered a seemingly endless reservoir of sex and physicality, without the constraints of whim or approach, can Bill be satisfied, per Janine's theory, or will he begin craving the other? Can he love when there is only sex? Will he care more deeply for the woman he can't ever touch? What happens when monogamy becomes taboo, and a fine-tuned machine of murder learns the human consequence of going against one's nature for a greater meaning?
These are a few of the things I've tried to give thought to in Amphisbaena, but there are many more running themes involved.
Amphisbaena is a modern, surrealist romance novel describing the courtship of three people trapped somewhere between nature and culture.
I hope people enjoy it, and I'll post more in the near future. On a side note, for anyone on Facebook, I've posted some potential cover art for Amphisbaena in a photo album. Take a look and let me know what you think in the comments. I'll be adding more of them as we go along.
Here's the link: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/album.php?aid=56013&id=661626574
Also, for anyone who enjoys my books, I promise that the third book won't have a one-word title. The others just happened that way, is all.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Have a season's happy merry holiday joyful deck the noel or kwanzaa dreidel PC or MAC whatnot and the such.
Maisy and Painter
"This is True" - a poetry postcard that, after being rejected, I have nowhere to send.
So here.
Painter posing, and then Painter's actual mood.
He wanted a hot chocolate and we told him he had to wait.
Family Picture: Maisy looking beautiful, Painter still
wanting a hot chocolate, and Ray dressed up like a yuppie.
Enjoy your holidays!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Trailer and Updates
Here's a brief update on some of the books and projects I'm working on.
For anyone who might be interested in giving Tatterdemalion a read, but who might still be on the fence about it, you can check out the trailer for the book:
For anyone who might be interested in giving Tatterdemalion a read, but who might still be on the fence about it, you can check out the trailer for the book:
Full Book Trailer (.exe - pretty and fully interactive): Tatterdemalion by Ray Succre
Book Trailer movie (.mov for Mac users): Tatterdemalion by Ray Succre
Book Trailer movie (.mov for Mac users): Tatterdemalion by Ray Succre
This is a full video trailer for the book with orchestration, the works. It's in .exe format because of the features at the end, which are fully interactive. When the trailer concludes, you'll find links to information on the availability of the book, Cauliay Publishing, reviews and interviews, and you can also read an excerpt from the book and even view the front and back covers in an interactive panoramic. You can also download the entire ebook and special features for Tatterdemalion from directly within the trailer, if you're so inclined. A lot of work has gone into making this, and I think you'll enjoy it. The other downloads are for simple video versions of this, for PC and MAC, and are not interactive.
Amphisbaena (pronounced AM-fis-BEE-nuh), my new novel, is complete and currently in the revision stage. Amphisbaena is an experimental romance novel about a man in a relationshsip with two women who are actually one creature, which happens to be a giant, two-headed snake. There will be more to come regarding this book shortly. The abovementioned trailer for Tatterdemalion is actually excerpted directly from the Reviewer's Edition special features program for Amphisbaena. All is coming together well. Here's a concept cover (not official or anything).
I'd also like to give congratulations to two of my friends, Elijah Brubaker and Andrew David King. Elijah has been nominated for the great 2008 Ignatz award, and Andrew is a recipient of the prestigious Foyle Young Poets Award, out of the U.K. Everyone give an ovation.
Beyond that, my son began preschool, which is a new arrangement for me. While I'm still getting used to the idea that Paint-paint won't be around for a portion of the day, I will have more dedicated time to write now, so there are many things I'm going to be adding to my plate, including more frequent posts at Blood and Ink, and a few more Interviews with the Dead. I'm aching to start a new book of poetry, so that will begin quite soon.
That's it for now. Thanks for stopping by. More information about Tatterdemalion and Amphisbaena can be found in the previous few posts.
Beyond that, my son began preschool, which is a new arrangement for me. While I'm still getting used to the idea that Paint-paint won't be around for a portion of the day, I will have more dedicated time to write now, so there are many things I'm going to be adding to my plate, including more frequent posts at Blood and Ink, and a few more Interviews with the Dead. I'm aching to start a new book of poetry, so that will begin quite soon.
That's it for now. Thanks for stopping by. More information about Tatterdemalion and Amphisbaena can be found in the previous few posts.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Amphisbaena and Tatterdemalion
Tatterdemalion has now been out for a couple of months, and there are some new reviews coming out in the fall, as well as a couple of events I'm scheduled to attend, and information about the book tour. I'm pleased to say I've finished a new book, Amphisbaena (pronounced 'am-fis-bee-nuh'), and am putting it through the first revisions. Amphisbaena is an experimental romance novel involving the relationship between a man (Bill Sherman, a struggling calendarist) and a woman he meets while speed-dating. This woman happens to be a giant, two-headed snake, which takes on the form of two women. In order to date one of them, he has to date both of them, by their rule. It's both or none, indefinately. One woman is the alpha head, or the 'upper half', and the other plays the enticer head, or 'lower half'.
Each woman represents one of the heads of the Amphisbaena, which functions with each head working in tandem for a single goal. In their past, this was for killing and eating men, but in the book, in our current times, they're trying to cease this in order to achieve something higher, and want to understand the intrinsically human notions of beauty, trust, and at some point, love. The charmer head entices men close, tempts and transfixes them, while the alpha head delivers the killing bite once the man is entranced, though in Amphisbaena, the snake uses this same system for dating, being the only way it knows to interract with men. Much of it comes from Greek mythology, yes. Below, you'll find a teaser image of Amy, the upper half, straight from the special features I'm putting together for the book.
I've received a ton of comment on the special features I created for Tatterdemalion, and this time around, I'm throwing a lot of myself into the special features for Amphisbaena. Trailers, animation, video, 24 audio tracks, 12 features (many with numerous sub-features), articles, explanatory notes, concept art, alternate cover art, a bit of history, some hidden features... and there's even more. The project is nearly completed, as well. Here's one of the images (scaled way down) from the concept art.
That's it for now. There will be more to come on both Tatterdemalion and Amphisbaena. Hope everyone enjoyed Summer. I spent mine writing, revising, and making covers.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Tatterdemalion - News and Update
To all cavorters and general discussants of the book-reading world,
Tatterdemalion has now been officially released (as of June 15th, 2008), and is available in a variety of places, which I've provided links for below. Most bookstores can order it easily through their distributors, and there are numerous places online where it is stocked and available.
In addition to the print release, I'd like to inform anyone interested that an electronic version is also available, and is entirely free. The download of this edition is fully interactive through a specifically designed graphic interface, and contains a large assortment of special features relating to the book and its creation, including a great amount of cover and character art, introductions, history, and more about its author, as well. This edition has also been pirated, and is available through a variety of torrent sites, some of which I'll list below, as well as provide links for the dedicated download locations.
Tatterdemalion has been getting some strong reviews. The following is a list of those that have gone live, as well as any articles, interviews, or features involving the book. I'll update it whenever I learn of new material.
Unlikely Stories 2.0:
Review (Gabriel Ricard): Click Here
Interview: Click Here
Prick of the Spindle:
Review (Erin McKnight): Click Here
Publication: Click Here
Tatterdemalion is now stocked at many bookstores, and can also be ordered through all of these if not already stocked (ordering through your local, independent bookstore is a great thing to do). The following is a short list of other online sources that can be used to order the print edition as well:
Powell's
Cauliay Publishing
Amazon [Amazon.ca, Amazon.jp, Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.fr, Amazon.de]
Borders
Here are a few of the torrent sites from which the book can be downloaded (not guaranteed to be seeding when you visit, but it is often available):
Mininova - Link
The Pirate Bay - Link
BitDig - Link
That's all for now. Read a review, scout around, buy a copy...
Chaotic Dreams: (Note- 'Dawn Griots' at the top of the linked-to page is the name of the set of features, and not a person. 'Dawn' is self-explanatory, and 'griots' is a West African term for 'storyteller'.)
Book Excerpt: Click Here
Interview (AngelaMichelle Smith-Brown): Click Here
Book Excerpt: Click Here
Interview (AngelaMichelle Smith-Brown): Click Here
Neon:
Review (Christopher Frost): Click Here
Print Publication: Click Here for ordering information.
Decanto, August 2008 Edition:
Print publication: Click Here for ordering information.
There is also a nice turn of events that has occurred, in that I've been offered to do a U.K. book tour. This would be a great experience and I've certainly signed on to do it. I'll post more about this, and locations/events, as they're slated and things roll along. It's a little ways off. For now, I've got a few events lined up (to be announced shortly) that will be more local.
Back to the book:
Tatterdemalion is now stocked at many bookstores, and can also be ordered through all of these if not already stocked (ordering through your local, independent bookstore is a great thing to do). The following is a short list of other online sources that can be used to order the print edition as well:
Powell's
Cauliay Publishing
Amazon [Amazon.ca, Amazon.jp, Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.fr, Amazon.de]
Borders
Capris.no
Download locations for the free e-book and special features edition:
Tatterdemalion - 2008 Reviewer's Edition via Daedalao: http://www.daedalao.com/downloads/Tatterdemalion.zip
Download locations for the free e-book and special features edition:
Tatterdemalion - 2008 Reviewer's Edition via Daedalao: http://www.daedalao.com/downloads/Tatterdemalion.zip
Tatterdemalion - 2008 Reviewer's Edition via Fileden:
Here are a few of the torrent sites from which the book can be downloaded (not guaranteed to be seeding when you visit, but it is often available):
Mininova - Link
The Pirate Bay - Link
BitDig - Link
That's all for now. Read a review, scout around, buy a copy...
And hey, enjoy summer.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Tatterdemalion Official Release Date and Pre-Order
Tatterdemalion: Front, back and spine
The official release date for my novel, Tatterdemalion, is set for June 15th, 2008, though it is conceivable you'd be able to get it as soon as May 1st, through my publisher, Cauliay Publishing. Below is the link to the inquiry/pre-order page at Cauliay, and some concept images and other material. I have a rather unique promotional disc that I am sending to reviewers, which includes a ton of bonus material and special features, all fully interactive. The disc is also loaded with bonus features, supplemental material, and a wide assortment of media relating to the story, its publishing, and its author. These special features are entirely interactive, through a stand-alone platform that will autorun when inserted in your computer's CD/DVD drive. There is much to see, and a great amount of information on the various characters, creatures, devices, and background of Tatterdemalion. You'll find alternate cover art, concept art, author and publisher introductions, explanatory notes, small press tie-ins, even several easter eggs hidden within the menus, and much more.
I've put in just over 200 hours into creating it, and it includes a pre-release Reviewer's Edition of Tatterdemalion. Anyone interested in reviewing the book can email me for a copy: raysuccre@hotmail.com.
The story of Tatterdemalion is one of discovery, loss, fantasy, and reality, and where these meet in and beyond the mind of a man vanished within his times. Tatterdemalion moves between ample humor and a near dismantling misfortune with ease, from thought to action, and back and forth between logic and emotion, mystery and disarray, adventure and domesticity. This is the story of a frail yet unstoppable man and his modern, action-prone quest to find a jar, to be rid of enemies that live in his apartment's appliances, a quest for his own mind, under the guidance of obfuscating, heraldic dragons and a madness that aches of logic. The world shifts beneath this man, people change places, a city-wide protest breaks out against him, and even the notion of his telephone bears a cursed meaning. What is real and what is fantasy is a large part of the book. This is a world in which a person with no experience can gain employment as a surgeon, astronaut, or police officer by visiting the employment office, a world of facsimiles and fates, a modern world of juxtapositions, physical metaphor, and loss. This is an abstract world of Boston in a slow mania, and the lost man within it.
If interested in the book or you'd like to consider it for review, email me at raysuccre@hotmail.com
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Tatterdemalion and a New Book of Poetry
In an earlier post, I mentioned my novel 'Tatterdemalion' being picked up by Cauliay Publishing, and also promised to give a few updates from time to time. I've been sparse, dotting various Twitter posts in my revisions and other information, but thought it was time to post here and update the two people that read this on the happenings.
Tatterdemalion is nearly complete on the publisher's end. We've got the book finalized and ready to go out, save for a couple of incidentals that we're working on right now. I've spent a huge amount of my time (all of it, really) over the last few months putting together a supplemental material package to send out to reviewers. It's huge, autoruns, and I had to design every page in it both graphically and in regard to its content. Here's a list of some of the things on the disc (which is all nicely labeled with full-color inserts... the works (and I designed all of that, too).
1. Background information on the book, including specific reasons for writing it.
2. Author's Introduction
3. Publisher's Introduction
4. Character concept art of the heraldic characters in the book
5. Cover art for the book
6. Alternate/concept covers for the book that we didn't go with (7 of them)
7. Small Press tie-ins (the Main Character sends out to real mags, and often)
8. About the Author section (this is where a bio and all that is found)
9. Explanatory Notes (on the bizarre styling, characterizations, and trickery in the book)
10. The ebook version of Tatterdemalion
11. Contact, link, and order information
And a ton more. Each one of the above 'features' has a few pages within it, full of other related features. There's video, audio, images, effects, a lot of painful design that I've finally managed to make smooth, and it can interact with the internet cleanly. The entire thing is interactive, and runs as a stand-alone program. You can email me, surf the web for details on the book, and even read the book, all while in the bonus feature program, or outside of it. You can even set up your own music playlist in the bonus features, with your own music, to listen to while you read, if your the type who likes music on when you read. Every page is dotted in various graphic art I've made for it, even as background material. There are even easter eggs hidden in the depths of the features.
I've worked pretty hard on it. Here's a teaser screenshot:
I've also been working on a new book of poetry, with an incredibly long title. All my books have had shorter titles lately, so I thought I'd go out on a limb and use a long one. The title of my new book of poetry is:
I Won't Breathe for It-- The Dull Chatter of Ends, Humping Catastrophes and Lounging Where One Sets Aside the Mind.
So yes, long. Here's a couple of images of some poems in the book. I added effects to the pictures so you won't be completely bored.
That's about it for now. I was also recently invited into the World Poets Society, and had an interview recently in Tom's Voice. No Tell Motel will be featuring some of my work in April, and there are some new spoken word tracks up over at The Adroitly Placed Word, as well.
Lately (well, continually), I am entirely enamored with my little son's antics. Being a stay-at-home dad is wondrous (though at times, it can be extremely difficult to get things done... i.e. subsequent revisions of a novel for one's publisher...) Paint-paint is talking well now, and just last night sat me down to tell me a 'story'. I'm a writer so that was poignant as hell. His story was about a ghost playing with his toys. He struck the ghost on the ass with his fist and frightened it. The ghost then ran away and hid in one of my son's Hot Wheels cars, driving slowly away.
Funny, I never took him for the horror sort.
Tatterdemalion is nearly complete on the publisher's end. We've got the book finalized and ready to go out, save for a couple of incidentals that we're working on right now. I've spent a huge amount of my time (all of it, really) over the last few months putting together a supplemental material package to send out to reviewers. It's huge, autoruns, and I had to design every page in it both graphically and in regard to its content. Here's a list of some of the things on the disc (which is all nicely labeled with full-color inserts... the works (and I designed all of that, too).
1. Background information on the book, including specific reasons for writing it.
2. Author's Introduction
3. Publisher's Introduction
4. Character concept art of the heraldic characters in the book
5. Cover art for the book
6. Alternate/concept covers for the book that we didn't go with (7 of them)
7. Small Press tie-ins (the Main Character sends out to real mags, and often)
8. About the Author section (this is where a bio and all that is found)
9. Explanatory Notes (on the bizarre styling, characterizations, and trickery in the book)
10. The ebook version of Tatterdemalion
11. Contact, link, and order information
And a ton more. Each one of the above 'features' has a few pages within it, full of other related features. There's video, audio, images, effects, a lot of painful design that I've finally managed to make smooth, and it can interact with the internet cleanly. The entire thing is interactive, and runs as a stand-alone program. You can email me, surf the web for details on the book, and even read the book, all while in the bonus feature program, or outside of it. You can even set up your own music playlist in the bonus features, with your own music, to listen to while you read, if your the type who likes music on when you read. Every page is dotted in various graphic art I've made for it, even as background material. There are even easter eggs hidden in the depths of the features.
I've worked pretty hard on it. Here's a teaser screenshot:
I've also been working on a new book of poetry, with an incredibly long title. All my books have had shorter titles lately, so I thought I'd go out on a limb and use a long one. The title of my new book of poetry is:
I Won't Breathe for It-- The Dull Chatter of Ends, Humping Catastrophes and Lounging Where One Sets Aside the Mind.
So yes, long. Here's a couple of images of some poems in the book. I added effects to the pictures so you won't be completely bored.
That's about it for now. I was also recently invited into the World Poets Society, and had an interview recently in Tom's Voice. No Tell Motel will be featuring some of my work in April, and there are some new spoken word tracks up over at The Adroitly Placed Word, as well.
Lately (well, continually), I am entirely enamored with my little son's antics. Being a stay-at-home dad is wondrous (though at times, it can be extremely difficult to get things done... i.e. subsequent revisions of a novel for one's publisher...) Paint-paint is talking well now, and just last night sat me down to tell me a 'story'. I'm a writer so that was poignant as hell. His story was about a ghost playing with his toys. He struck the ghost on the ass with his fist and frightened it. The ghost then ran away and hid in one of my son's Hot Wheels cars, driving slowly away.
Funny, I never took him for the horror sort.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
Dear World, Please Read My Book... Please.
I've been meaning to post here for a few days regarding the hammer of good news that hit me last week.
Yes, it's official: My novel 'Tatterdemalion' has been picked up by Cauliay Publishing and is scheduled for a 2008 release. For those of you who haven't read this blog before, I wrote a novel at the end of 2006, for which I wrote a post on. I was very excited about the novel, which was gigantic and, due to its enormous size, likely unpublishable so long as I'm a newcomer. Anyway, after I finished that novel, I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing, and in a zone, so I wrote another one. I sent the first book out to various agencies. Half of them rejected it, the other half never even bothered to respond. The second book, 'Tatterdemalion', I sent to the wonderful Michael William Molden (from here on referred to as 'my publisher'). The first book is dead in the water, but the second book was accepted by my publisher and the process of more revisions has ensued.
So, instead of being a struggling novelist, I have been upgraded to the regular kind, just really, really broke.
I'll be posting much here on the developments to come, dealings with my publisher, and of course, the release dates and where you can find the book. I will also be going through a short process of deflating my head and slapping myself around a little, to get clear.
On another note, I've recently finished another book of poetry, 'Skep', am hard at work revising 'Tatterdemalion', and getting ready to write a small series of poems for an upcoming peace conference I've been invited to read at.
New work at several publications accessible from my main page / publication history: http://www.raysuccre.blogspot.com (those at the top are the most recent).
Happy New Year to all,
-Ray
Yes, it's official: My novel 'Tatterdemalion' has been picked up by Cauliay Publishing and is scheduled for a 2008 release. For those of you who haven't read this blog before, I wrote a novel at the end of 2006, for which I wrote a post on. I was very excited about the novel, which was gigantic and, due to its enormous size, likely unpublishable so long as I'm a newcomer. Anyway, after I finished that novel, I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing, and in a zone, so I wrote another one. I sent the first book out to various agencies. Half of them rejected it, the other half never even bothered to respond. The second book, 'Tatterdemalion', I sent to the wonderful Michael William Molden (from here on referred to as 'my publisher'). The first book is dead in the water, but the second book was accepted by my publisher and the process of more revisions has ensued.
So, instead of being a struggling novelist, I have been upgraded to the regular kind, just really, really broke.
I'll be posting much here on the developments to come, dealings with my publisher, and of course, the release dates and where you can find the book. I will also be going through a short process of deflating my head and slapping myself around a little, to get clear.
On another note, I've recently finished another book of poetry, 'Skep', am hard at work revising 'Tatterdemalion', and getting ready to write a small series of poems for an upcoming peace conference I've been invited to read at.
New work at several publications accessible from my main page / publication history: http://www.raysuccre.blogspot.com (those at the top are the most recent).
Happy New Year to all,
-Ray
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Huge Budget Hollywood
Having recently watched 'I Am Legend' and a few other newer movies, I have decided to write a brief letter to Hollywood, asking and entreating the producers and writers to hear my pleas.
Dear Hollywood,
It has come to my attention (forcefully, with Dolby Surround Sound), that certain things in many of the recent movies being released simply don't work. The reasons for these numerous troubles are varied, but I've decided to give you a short 'heads-up' in regards to some of them, in case the overpaid film-designers in your ranks haven't done their research, or are too lazy to care.
1. Stop shortening film titles. There is no logical reason why 'The Way of the Peaceful Warrior' needed to be shortened for the movie version to 'Peaceful Warrior'. We're not so dumb as you think, and have the brain capacity to handle more than a three-word title. If you greenlight a script entitled 'Night in the Desk of Calvin Coolidge', there is no need to shorten it to 'Coolidge'. Titles aren't simply for exhibiting the lowest-common-denominator of the subject in summary.
2. Bad script alert: If you receive a script with any of the following lines of dialogue in it, the script is bad. I'm serious.
A. "No, that's impossible! We killed you!" No one wants rehashes of Freddy Krueger stories or badly made things in a similar vein.
B. "Get me the _______" (name of a person or superhero like Cobra, Daredevil. Also: President, Secretary of Defense, Media, etc...)
C. "So what you're saying is..." This is always used to introduce really obvious backstory, and it's like a slap in the face. EXAMPLE: "He's a real loner. He's complicated and keeps to himself." "So what your saying is he doesn't trust anyone?" "Yes."
D. Any dialogue where a white kid talks in a really false and overexaggerated street-slang and using overemphasised hand gestures. We get it. You're setting up this character to be the butt of some dumb joke about how he's not black, to make the dull character doing the joking more witty. The thing is, it's transparent and DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE. Also, other stereotypical bullshit.
E. Any dialogue that begins with "Think of it this way..." This is usually just an excuse to take your space-jargon or other 'technical' description and translate it into something for the audience. "Think of it this way... The air will be pulled displaced from the room and he'll suffocate." "Oh, thanks for pampering me. I was too dumb to know carbon monoxide could hurt you."
F. Any narration in a preview that includes the three words 'in the dark'.
G. "You gotta be kidding me."
H. "This could mean the end of..."
I. "I grew up in the sixties."
J. "What are those things?"
The list goes on and on... Anyone with suggestions can place them in the comments to this post.
3. No matter how much you think it's great, Man fighting CG is old. We know it's CG. How do we know? It doesn't look real. Why doesn't it look real? Because it isn't. Seeing Will Smith fight off packs of roving cannibal-mutants in 'I am Legend' would have been a lot better if the 'mutants' mouths didn't stretch like taffy to unbelievable proportions whenever they screamed (making noises no human larynx could, I'll add). Also, while I'm bitching about 'I am Legend', if your foreshadowing is really obvious and statement-oriented, you haven't done it well.
4. This one is a big one, Hollywood: ENOUGH WITH THE TRILOGIES. Pirates of the Caribbean 2 should have been called 'Men Fighting on Things that Roll Down Hills', and Pirates of the Caribbean 3 should have been called 'What the Hell is Even Going On? Johnny Depp's In It, That's All We Know."
5. It grows embarrassing for everyone when a movie spawns B-sequels that begin to have nothing to do with the original. American Pie, anyone?
6. Let Keanu Reeves and Cameron Diaz go. They've been trying really hard to do it themselves. Just... just let them go.
7. Oh, also, can you start levelling the volume in your DVD releases a little more? Please? It gets really annoying having to turn up the volume twelve notches so I can hear the dialogue, then clutch my chest in seizure when someone in the movie kicks in a door and makes my fucking windows rattle, forcing me to grab the remote and hit volume-down in a mad panic at 1 in the morning.
There's so much more... I can't focus on it there are so many weirdnesses to fix...
If anyone else has anything they'd like added to the letter, feel free to post them in the comments.
Dear Hollywood,
It has come to my attention (forcefully, with Dolby Surround Sound), that certain things in many of the recent movies being released simply don't work. The reasons for these numerous troubles are varied, but I've decided to give you a short 'heads-up' in regards to some of them, in case the overpaid film-designers in your ranks haven't done their research, or are too lazy to care.
1. Stop shortening film titles. There is no logical reason why 'The Way of the Peaceful Warrior' needed to be shortened for the movie version to 'Peaceful Warrior'. We're not so dumb as you think, and have the brain capacity to handle more than a three-word title. If you greenlight a script entitled 'Night in the Desk of Calvin Coolidge', there is no need to shorten it to 'Coolidge'. Titles aren't simply for exhibiting the lowest-common-denominator of the subject in summary.
2. Bad script alert: If you receive a script with any of the following lines of dialogue in it, the script is bad. I'm serious.
A. "No, that's impossible! We killed you!" No one wants rehashes of Freddy Krueger stories or badly made things in a similar vein.
B. "Get me the _______" (name of a person or superhero like Cobra, Daredevil. Also: President, Secretary of Defense, Media, etc...)
C. "So what you're saying is..." This is always used to introduce really obvious backstory, and it's like a slap in the face. EXAMPLE: "He's a real loner. He's complicated and keeps to himself." "So what your saying is he doesn't trust anyone?" "Yes."
D. Any dialogue where a white kid talks in a really false and overexaggerated street-slang and using overemphasised hand gestures. We get it. You're setting up this character to be the butt of some dumb joke about how he's not black, to make the dull character doing the joking more witty. The thing is, it's transparent and DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE. Also, other stereotypical bullshit.
E. Any dialogue that begins with "Think of it this way..." This is usually just an excuse to take your space-jargon or other 'technical' description and translate it into something for the audience. "Think of it this way... The air will be pulled displaced from the room and he'll suffocate." "Oh, thanks for pampering me. I was too dumb to know carbon monoxide could hurt you."
F. Any narration in a preview that includes the three words 'in the dark'.
G. "You gotta be kidding me."
H. "This could mean the end of..."
I. "I grew up in the sixties."
J. "What are those things?"
The list goes on and on... Anyone with suggestions can place them in the comments to this post.
3. No matter how much you think it's great, Man fighting CG is old. We know it's CG. How do we know? It doesn't look real. Why doesn't it look real? Because it isn't. Seeing Will Smith fight off packs of roving cannibal-mutants in 'I am Legend' would have been a lot better if the 'mutants' mouths didn't stretch like taffy to unbelievable proportions whenever they screamed (making noises no human larynx could, I'll add). Also, while I'm bitching about 'I am Legend', if your foreshadowing is really obvious and statement-oriented, you haven't done it well.
4. This one is a big one, Hollywood: ENOUGH WITH THE TRILOGIES. Pirates of the Caribbean 2 should have been called 'Men Fighting on Things that Roll Down Hills', and Pirates of the Caribbean 3 should have been called 'What the Hell is Even Going On? Johnny Depp's In It, That's All We Know."
5. It grows embarrassing for everyone when a movie spawns B-sequels that begin to have nothing to do with the original. American Pie, anyone?
6. Let Keanu Reeves and Cameron Diaz go. They've been trying really hard to do it themselves. Just... just let them go.
7. Oh, also, can you start levelling the volume in your DVD releases a little more? Please? It gets really annoying having to turn up the volume twelve notches so I can hear the dialogue, then clutch my chest in seizure when someone in the movie kicks in a door and makes my fucking windows rattle, forcing me to grab the remote and hit volume-down in a mad panic at 1 in the morning.
There's so much more... I can't focus on it there are so many weirdnesses to fix...
If anyone else has anything they'd like added to the letter, feel free to post them in the comments.
Friday, December 07, 2007
Sinister Events Strike in the Heart of My Small Town
Article from 'The World' newspaper, Coos Bay, Oregon
Cows lead police on chase in Coos Bay
December 7, 2007 - 11:33 a.m.
COOS BAY — The Coos Bay World reports that two cows have led police officers on a chase through the streets of Coos Bay.
A driver stopped for gas for his truck, which was towing a livestock trailer. After getting his fill, he drove away. His cows stayed behind.
According to the Coos Bay Police Department, the driver of the truck failed to properly close the back door to his trailer and the cows got out.
The two cows led police officers on a chase through the streets of city, rushing up toward the high school, past the U.S. Post Office, back downtown and even into the bay.
At last check, the chase appeared to be slowing down near the waterfront.
The following image was not taken from the newspaper, but does demonstrate the nature of these criminal, devilish cows well enough, I think:
And this image sums up the nature of the police in my town, as well as local sentiment quite well:
And this image sums up the nature of the police in my town, as well as local sentiment quite well:
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Dadda, Painter Need Surgery
I woke this morning and, after bidding my little boy 'good morning', was greeted with the same statement for which this post is titled. I stared for a moment. Did he mean the word 'sugary', as in wanting some sort of candy? Had I simply heard him wrong, or he'd gotten his words crossed?
"Dadda, Painter need surgery."
"Uh... wow, kid. Do you mean sugary? Candy?"
"Dadda, Painter surgery. Please."
"Surgery?"
"Yeah, sick. Painter need surgery. A doctor."
So that was that, he did, in fact, mean 'surgery'. No doubt this idea of his was spawned from my own surgery I had earlier in the month, though it wasn't something I'd ever explained to him. He just assumed I was 'sick'. That's the cutest thing I've ever heard of. I did go over the notion that he required no surgery, though he kept pointing at his stomach.
"Need surgery."
Creepy as hell, that was. I pictured him being a character in a Stephen King tale.
I think I mentioned something in a previous post about posting an image of my surgical aftermath, but I can't remember and I'm not going back to check right at this moment. Here you go-- My disgusting, abdomenal, post-operative self:
"Dadda, Painter need surgery."
"Uh... wow, kid. Do you mean sugary? Candy?"
"Dadda, Painter surgery. Please."
"Surgery?"
"Yeah, sick. Painter need surgery. A doctor."
So that was that, he did, in fact, mean 'surgery'. No doubt this idea of his was spawned from my own surgery I had earlier in the month, though it wasn't something I'd ever explained to him. He just assumed I was 'sick'. That's the cutest thing I've ever heard of. I did go over the notion that he required no surgery, though he kept pointing at his stomach.
"Need surgery."
Creepy as hell, that was. I pictured him being a character in a Stephen King tale.
I think I mentioned something in a previous post about posting an image of my surgical aftermath, but I can't remember and I'm not going back to check right at this moment. Here you go-- My disgusting, abdomenal, post-operative self:
Most fun. And yes, I look ridiculously pot-bellied, and they shaved me. I don't know what I'm up to with posting this picture and the one in my last post, showing my disturbing, permanently injured, ever-bloodshot eye, but it's certainly not showing off my good looks (of which, by now you'll realize I have none).And here's The Little Boy Who Wanted Surgery (I may use that as the title of one of my children's books, at some point, along with my previous big hit "The Little Boy with Ants in His Heart"):
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Skep
Just a quick note on my new book, Skep, which is coming along well enough. I'm at about 24 poems in, and will continue until the vacinity of 80. A 'skep' is a sort of natural beehive, usually constructed out of hay. What does that have to do with a book of poetry? Enough for what I have in mind. Below are two pictures of my work in progress. Yes, this is a college-ruled pad and yes, my handwriting is fucking tiny (three handwritten lines fit within one college-ruled space qualifies the term 'fucking' in this statement). For no particular reason other than to give indication of what writing this small does to me, I've separated the two images with a picture of my right eye, which has been bloodshot since I was a kid. I actually have a permanently injured eye, so the bloodshot nature of it never goes away. My left eye is normal. Look in my author images (main page) and you can spot this bloodshot right eye in action here and there.
I should have it completed in a little less than a month. Yeah, I put some effects on the pictures. If interested in what these particular two poems are about, look through my Twitter posts (http://twitter.com/raysuccre), for the titles of the poems: Stingray, and In a Flock of Strange Things.
I should have it completed in a little less than a month. Yeah, I put some effects on the pictures. If interested in what these particular two poems are about, look through my Twitter posts (http://twitter.com/raysuccre), for the titles of the poems: Stingray, and In a Flock of Strange Things.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Appearance Links
I've had more than a few people lately explaining a difficulty they've been having with my main page (raysuccre.blogspot.com). The trouble seems to be that they're trying to locate some of my work online, for passive reads, but don't like navigating through the archives of online mags and the such. I use my main page for several purposes. The first and foremost is to post a bio, some author images, and a complete publication history / editing history, etc... The Twitter posts add a bit of me to the page, as well. The page is simple, and I post all on a single page, able to be scrolled through for long durations, or quick-linked from the sidebar, whatever your flavor is. The page is mostly designed for editors, who, after correspondence with me, via submissions, subscriptions, and other various queries, can take a look around if they'd like to get to know me on paper. This blog, raysuccre2.blogspot.com, is a much more personal page designed to allow a little access to me outside of publishing and the such. You know, what I'm up to, all that.
However, the people that have contacted me recently (and there have been mentions in the past, as well), feel my Publication History on the main page would be greatly enhanced by posting appearance links as well. They think it's great I link to all mags that have or are planning on printing my work, and that I link to the editors of these mags as well, but people don't want to wade through archives searching for my work. So, from here on out, I'll be adding appearance links to any online/electronic publications in my history, for anyone who'd like to read any of my published work.
I suppose anyone who follows one of those links and reads something of mine has an interest, and so anyone who does so is free to email me with any opinions or criticism they may have. I may not follow it, but I'd love to hear what people have to say. It's one thing to print in mags, and you know there are certainly readers somewhere that have gone through your poem, but it's another thing to actually get feedback from readers. It's a kind of proof, really, that yes, someone read what you wrote, which can offer a much-needed dose of momentum to someone like me.
So there.
However, the people that have contacted me recently (and there have been mentions in the past, as well), feel my Publication History on the main page would be greatly enhanced by posting appearance links as well. They think it's great I link to all mags that have or are planning on printing my work, and that I link to the editors of these mags as well, but people don't want to wade through archives searching for my work. So, from here on out, I'll be adding appearance links to any online/electronic publications in my history, for anyone who'd like to read any of my published work.
I suppose anyone who follows one of those links and reads something of mine has an interest, and so anyone who does so is free to email me with any opinions or criticism they may have. I may not follow it, but I'd love to hear what people have to say. It's one thing to print in mags, and you know there are certainly readers somewhere that have gone through your poem, but it's another thing to actually get feedback from readers. It's a kind of proof, really, that yes, someone read what you wrote, which can offer a much-needed dose of momentum to someone like me.
So there.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Recuperation is Swift but Shaky
Having undergone my vibrant and unruly surgical procedure, and had my junk laparoscopically and systematically 'improved', I have been spending some time at home recovering. With the exception of the tightness that has overwhelmed my entire abdomenal region, I'm doing well with it all. I tend to heal rather quickly, so I wasn't entirely worried about it. Mostly, my worry was in dealing with the surgeon, who, despite any argument I could muster, would still end our relationship by slicing into me with a scalpel. There was no avoiding it. My doctor/surgeon was a talented young buck, but the ways of medicine still frighten and elude me.
Still, I'm recuperating and feel around 80%, and by this time Saturday, I should be back into my normal frame of juggling regiment with whimsical sloth. This is how I expect to be feeling by then:
To anyone out there debating whether they'd like to have an inguinal hernia or not, go ahead and weigh your options, but my ten cents is that you should avoid the situation. Sure, you get to meed new people, network with the rising stars of American McMedicine, and they get you wasted at certain, crucial points on difficult to pronounce drugs, but the overall testicular shrieking and the folding of your gut like origami just ruins the party.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
My Literary Life and My Crotch are Spread Too Thin
To the Grand Republic of Blog Purveyors,
This is a quick update on various happenings that have occurred and are slated to occur, as well as a touching commentary on the nature of my busted crotch, for which I am to undergo a magnificent and vivid surgery.
First off, a great thing has happened in that some of my spoken word is going to get some radio play in Scotland, on SHMU, November 4th, 2-4 p.m. GMT. The time zone difference equates to the following in the U.S.: 5-7 a.m., Sunday the 4th. This has been set up by the excellent Michael William Molden, of Cauliay Publishing, who has graciously invited my work onto his broadcast, as well as showcased some of it on his site. The link, for those of you wishing to experience this joyous occasion, is http://www.shmu.org.uk/radio/radofrm.shtml. You can tune in live for the broadcast, and I'm fairly certain you could access it later, if you're the sort that likes to sleep in the wee hours of the night/morning. The show goes out to around 200,000 listeners.
I'd like to thank Mr. Molden, the academy, the little people, and everyone in Aberdeen, Scotland. I shant forget you.
Blood and Ink, the collaborative effort disseminating all sorts of how-it-works information on the arts, and of which I am a contributor, has moved to a new home with wordpress, and can now be found at http://elijahbrubaker.com/bloodandink. It appears in connection to the site of the illustrious Elijah J. Brubaker, illustrator extraordinaire and all-around great guy you should love and buy things from. Go. Right now.
I've begun a new book of poetry, and have managed to gain some print in quite a few lovely mags in the last few months, for which I owe much. You can find any of these magazines and publications listed on my main page, http://www.raysuccre.blogspot.com, under 'Publication History'.
Now, on to the crotch. Everything always ends there, doesn't it?
I was recently diagnosed with an inguenal hernia, after a bout in the E.R., where I was seen clutching myself and shivering. For those without knowledge of things inguenal, or who haven't studied up on this sort of hernia, it works like this:
Yes, that's what happened to me. In fact, this is an actual photograph of me, except they got some of the 'dimensions' wrong. Anyway, the randomnity of the pain is horrid, and I've now had two different doctors wring out my junk like a dishrag.
Though I was seen in the E.R., and diagnosed but 5 days ago, the repair of this problem is slated to take place this Monday, the 5th of November. They're going in through my stomach area with wriggling little night-vision cameras to fumble around in my guts, and build some things in my groin from the inside. This pelvic strike is to take place with me unconscious, anesthetized, and most likely, drooling into nightmare. I have enclosed several images that, in an abstract way, symbolise the way I feel about this entire situation.
And here is the hospital wherein the adventuresome surgery will take place:
That's all for now. Wait, no... we took Paint-paint out for Halloween last night in his spankin' cool costume, which was a blast, even though I had to limp the entire way.
Awwwwww...
This is a quick update on various happenings that have occurred and are slated to occur, as well as a touching commentary on the nature of my busted crotch, for which I am to undergo a magnificent and vivid surgery.
First off, a great thing has happened in that some of my spoken word is going to get some radio play in Scotland, on SHMU, November 4th, 2-4 p.m. GMT. The time zone difference equates to the following in the U.S.: 5-7 a.m., Sunday the 4th. This has been set up by the excellent Michael William Molden, of Cauliay Publishing, who has graciously invited my work onto his broadcast, as well as showcased some of it on his site. The link, for those of you wishing to experience this joyous occasion, is http://www.shmu.org.uk/radio/radofrm.shtml. You can tune in live for the broadcast, and I'm fairly certain you could access it later, if you're the sort that likes to sleep in the wee hours of the night/morning. The show goes out to around 200,000 listeners.
I'd like to thank Mr. Molden, the academy, the little people, and everyone in Aberdeen, Scotland. I shant forget you.
Blood and Ink, the collaborative effort disseminating all sorts of how-it-works information on the arts, and of which I am a contributor, has moved to a new home with wordpress, and can now be found at http://elijahbrubaker.com/bloodandink. It appears in connection to the site of the illustrious Elijah J. Brubaker, illustrator extraordinaire and all-around great guy you should love and buy things from. Go. Right now.
I've begun a new book of poetry, and have managed to gain some print in quite a few lovely mags in the last few months, for which I owe much. You can find any of these magazines and publications listed on my main page, http://www.raysuccre.blogspot.com, under 'Publication History'.
Now, on to the crotch. Everything always ends there, doesn't it?
I was recently diagnosed with an inguenal hernia, after a bout in the E.R., where I was seen clutching myself and shivering. For those without knowledge of things inguenal, or who haven't studied up on this sort of hernia, it works like this:
Yes, that's what happened to me. In fact, this is an actual photograph of me, except they got some of the 'dimensions' wrong. Anyway, the randomnity of the pain is horrid, and I've now had two different doctors wring out my junk like a dishrag.
Though I was seen in the E.R., and diagnosed but 5 days ago, the repair of this problem is slated to take place this Monday, the 5th of November. They're going in through my stomach area with wriggling little night-vision cameras to fumble around in my guts, and build some things in my groin from the inside. This pelvic strike is to take place with me unconscious, anesthetized, and most likely, drooling into nightmare. I have enclosed several images that, in an abstract way, symbolise the way I feel about this entire situation.
And here is the hospital wherein the adventuresome surgery will take place:
That's all for now. Wait, no... we took Paint-paint out for Halloween last night in his spankin' cool costume, which was a blast, even though I had to limp the entire way.
Awwwwww...
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Flash Gordon: Saviour of the Universe
Recently, my wife and I decided to rent Flash Gordon: Saviour of the Universe Edition from our local video store. This is the one in which Max Von Sidow plays Ming the Merciless, and Queen plays the soundtrack. The movie is everything I remembered it being, and there was certainly a bit of cheesy, embarrassing nostalgia involved in viewing the film, as I loved it when I was a youngster.
In the special features of this edition, is an entire episode of the 1930's era Flash Gordon serial, starring Buster Crabbe. I'd never actually seen the original serial, and have only a rudimentary connection to the comics and stories that have involved Flash Gordon over the years. We thought the special feature was neat, so watched it. Near the finale, my wife and I both began exchanging looks of confusion and intrigue. I'll explain the scene in question, as it had both of us laughing to the point I was unable to contain my laughter and had to leave the room until I could get ahold of myself.
The scene in question is in Episode 1 of this Flash Gordon serial. I've included screenshots. In the scene, Flash has been captured by Ming and his minions and has been tossed into an arena to fight.
He is noticeably worried about the situation, as can be seen in the screenshot below.
I am noticeably worried about the situation.I mean, seriously, what's going to happen to poor Flash? He's a good-lookin' guy, probably plays sports, knows his way around a stiff drink and a loose lady, but come on... He's just crash-landed beside some giant lizards, been abducted by another humanoid race that seem to wear an awful lot of bondage-like gear, he's trapped indefinitely in an alien world, the chick he likes is being held beside the evil lord of this strange place (who probably has the hots for her, too), and a bunch of metal-clad guards have just tossed him into an arena, presumably to face something malicious, horrible, and life-threatening.
When thrown into this terrible predicament, this magnanimous and dire situation in which his very life could be on the line, all he sees is this:
Nowhere to hide!That's right, three iron-barred gates... and THEY'RE OPENING. What's going to happen? Is this the end of Flash's life? Will he never play football and score with chicks again? Mortal combat is approaching... But what infernal horror is about to be unleashed upon him? Ming seems pleased at Flash's fright, and indicates what a weakling Flash must be, by pointing at him in front of the metal-clad guards as if to say "Look at the wuss from Earth. He shall surely pee his pants."
Power.Then the gates fully open and, panicking, Flash gets into a fighting stance. It all comes down to this tense confrontation. Will it be inhuman monsters? Murderous machines? Claw-sporting animals with a thirst for the young jock's blood? Wait... here they come... it can't be... no... NO.... THEY'VE EMERGED! it's, it's....
SABER-TOOTHED JEWS IN DIAPERS.
Well, okay... just two saber-toothed jews in diapers, and one regular, non-saber-toothed jew, but still in a diaper. The three attackers, making grunt-drool noises, slowly lumber after Flash, who must fight for his very life. Mostly, the saber-toothed diaper jews only seem to want to wrestle, kind of greco-roman style, and Flash finds this to his advantage. He must have wrestled in high school, because he knocks the creatures around for awhile. However, the saber-toothed diaper jews only seem to get more aggressive as the fight continues, and soon, they gain in speed, rushing poor Flash again and again.
Fucked.It's only a matter of time. Flash is human... inevitably, his energy will run out while defying death by fighting these superhuman, razor-toothed, incontinent, lumbering semites. What can be done? He valiantly pits his blonde, buff self against them, waging epic, pectoral skirmishes again and again, but in the end, he is defeated. The diapered ones make their final play and catch Flash off guard.
It's over.After subduing Flash Gordon, the creatures are called off. Flash has failed. His semi-girlfriend nearby, beside Ming screams out, "Oh Flash!", but nothing can be done. The three creatures hold him down and drool and grunt some more, but seem incapable of inflicting any further damage to our hero. They just kind of crawl around on him and make goofy noises. Ming is pleased.
Mwa ha.
Beware, for the day will come...
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